Culture shock

First of all, my thanks for those who had pitched in for my wedding.

Just want to share some of my experience during my wedding day.


For those who don't know, I've just married Jamaliah, a beautiful Bajau girl from Semporna Sabah last 27th December 2008.

I arrived in Semporna 3 days earlier and stayed in the Dragon Inn, or much more popular with the name 'floating' among locals. On the big day, My family and I went to Pakcik Musa's (Jamal's uncle) place around 11am to get ready. His place was just a few hundred meter from the Jamal's place. Chit chated with him to wait for Zohor prayers before getting ready. Just after finishing my prayers I asked him if I could get ready. Iwent like something like this.

Me: Boleh saya bersiap sekarang ka?
Pakcik Musa: Blum lagi, tunggu imam datang dulu.
Me: ....?(blur) Napa? Pakcik Musa: Nanti dia datang, kasi mandi kamu dulu baru boleh bersiap. Me: err.... ? (still blurred)
Pakcik Musa: Di sini memang begitu. Nanti dia datang, mandikan kamu supaya hilang rasa gementar kamu tu.
Me: Oooo.... (actually confused)

So, when the Tok Imam came (also Jamal's uncle)...

Imam: Kamu pergi mandi dulu kasi bersih apa patut.
Me: Ok (but still standing still)
Pakcik Musa: ..? Me: Ada kain basahan dengan tuala tak? (Am I supposed to shower naked? I don't think thath people normaly bring 'kain basahan' and towels to get ready for marriage) Pakcik Musa: Oh ya kan... Me: huuhuhuhuhu (thank god!)

After showering alone, the imam came to the shower.

Imam: Sudah mandi ya? Ok, duduk mengadap kiblat.
Me: ok... (fixing my position)

He went ahead and showered me while reading some prayers. After that it dried up and continue to get ready with my white baju melayu. It started to rain a bit. Once finished, we all went to the car and headed towards Jamal's place accompanied by the kompang and all the 'hantaran'.


Arrived at the destination with my heart pounding. The sambulayang (acts as a notice that a ceremony will be held) looks so big. The MC announced my arrival and some prayers were read. I went in, followed by the 'rombongan hantaran' and everybody else.

I sat inside the hall room and the Tok Kadi came and everything ust went on like usual until...

Kadi: Pihak perempuan setuju?
Jamal's elder sister cam in and pass a piece of white cloth.
Kadi: Ok, kain ini tandanya pengantin perempuan bersetuju bernikah sama kamu.

He held his hand out and i reached for it, and then he covers up our hand with the piece of white cloth. Then he leaned up to me and said.

Kadi: Ini, tutup tangan supaya tak nampak menggigil .
Me: Oh.... (while some of these near to us were laughing)
Kadi: Muhammad Arief bin Suparjo Noordin
Me: Ye saya,
Kadi: Aku nikahkan...................tunai.

I sat frozen for a while, I tought the kadi would do a practice round first, or at least give me a script of what to say first! I did not practice anything because from what I know, different places has different things to say during akad! After the short pause...

Me: Aku terima............. tunai.
Kadi: Tak boleh tu... selepas saya baca akad kene terus jawab. Tak boleh tunggu2.
Me: Oh.. (smiling, at least there nothing wrong with my reply)

So we started take 2

Kadi: Aku nikahkan...................tunai.
Me: Aku terima.............. tunai.
Saksi1: ... sah
Kadi: Tak boleh macam tu, selesai saja si arief ni jawab, saksi kene terus cakap sah atau tidak. tak boleh tunggu lama2. Saksi1&2: Ok...

Take 3! (third one's the charm)

Kadi: Aku nikahkan...................tunai. Me: Aku terima.............. tunai.
Saksi1: sah
Saksi2: sah

Followed by cheering by the audience. It went on like normal after that, until I was brought to Jamal's room. The imam held on to one end of the white cloth i mention earlier while i held on to the other end. He led me into the room took my hand and put it onto Jamal's forehead. He read something and I was asked to repeat it.

Finished with that, I gave Jamal the 'mas kahwin' and my aunt put the rings on our fingers. We then went out and went on bersanding for awhile. There were music by gamelan players from outside, there were also people doing the 'mengalai'. We were also asked to dance this tradisoanl dance.

The singer will continue singing as long as you're still dancing. So, if you stop dancing the singer will stop. And the other thing, people will be giving money during the dance.

That's what happen during the day. I'll continue writing about the rest later. It's time to sleep!